I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.

Can you honestly tell me you wouldn't at least crack a smile if a guy walked up to you in a bar and pulled out this line?  We all joke about cheesy pick-up lines, but it really comes down to the delivery.  If a handsome, confident guy walked up to me with a smirk on his face and said "Hey... Didn't I see your name in the dictionary under "Shazaam!"?", or "I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?", or how about this one, "Let's make like a fabric softener and 'Snuggle", and for those with extreme confidence, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.", I would have to laugh and give him a chance.  But then again, I'm a sucker for funny guys.

I think more than anything else, the reason I find pick-up lines so endearing is that I can't imagine ever having the nerve to do this myself.  I know there are girls out there who wouldn't think twice about approaching a guy in a bar with one of these lines, but personally, I would rather spend a week in bed with pneumonia.  No, that's not strong enough.  I would rather spend a week in bed with pneumonia while being forced to watch back to back episodes of "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? Sci-Fi Island" ("Honey, you've been looking for love in Alderaan places!", "Nice buns, Princess! On your head, that is.. ", "Earth woman, prepare to be probed!") Actually ... I would probably enjoy the show.

All of this explains why online dating and I get along so, so well.  Hitting on a guy through a message online has zero repercussions.  What's the worst that can happen?  He doesn't respond. Ooooooooh it's the end of the world!  How do I ever go on living?!  Now I'm certain many of you are saying "Well what's the worst that can happen if you walk up to a guy and hit on him?  He turns you down.  Big deal."  It feels like a much bigger deal when it's face-to-face.  If you look a guy in the eyes, make a pass at him and then get turned down, you have nowhere to hide.  You SHOULD swallow your pride, suck it up and walk away with your head held high.  However, I would be more likely to choke on my pride, crawl under the bar, grab a bottle of vodka and run for the nearest exit.

Maybe it's because things never seem to come out the way I want them to when it matters.  In my normal everyday life, I would consider myself a well-spoken person who is more than capable of getting a message across.  Put me in an emotionally charged situation, or in a scenario where I feel out of my element and the words just get stuck at the tip of my tongue.  I can hear the words in my head and I can feel the exact message I want to convey, but my mouth just doesn't want to cooperate.  With a pen or keyboard in front of me, it's an entirely different story.  Every single thought or emotion I could ever want to express seems to flow effortlessly from my hands in a stylish, coherent manner.  I am the Rico Suave of online dating messaging.

Even though I, Miss Online Dating Diva, feel more comfortable laying on the charm in a digital world, that isn't to say I can't appreciate some real world flirting as well.  Like I said, I find pick-up lines are endearing when delivered with a good dose of confidence and humor.  It takes a lot of guts and I admire any man or woman who has what it takes to pull it off in style.  But don't expect it from me anytime soon.  I'll stick to my catchy, coherent online messages thank you very much.

But for those of you brave enough to attempt a pick-up line in real life ... please find some escape plans below thanks to collegehumor.com

Until next time and happy fishing ;)