Great Expectations

So I'm on my way to Victoria for the weekend to run the Royal Victoria Marathon.  It's my first marathon.  Excited doesn't begin to capture the feeling I have.  My dear friend Sarah has flown in from Calgary to run the half marathon and what do we do when she shows up last night?  Get a good a night's sleep and eat a healthy, but carb rich meal in preparation for the big day, right? Wrong.

We started the evening off with a couple of bacardi breezers, then made our way down to The King's Head to meet up with a couple of boys.  Then it all went astray.  Having more drinks at The King's Head was bad enough, remember I'm running 42 km tomorrow.  Someone (insert accusatory tone) suggested we go to Sand Bar ... it may or may not have been my suggestion.  Ahhhhh Sand Bar ... always a good time, never a good idea.   This bar is a magnet for older women who enjoy younger men.  I just love to watch the fun unfold and squeeze in a few dances to the old school 80's and 90's music.  "At the copa ... copacobana ... "

Now at this point, we could have been smart and gone home.  But we decided to make bad life choices and went to yet another bar.  At 3 am, I was standing in front of what used to be the 24 hour MacDonald's next to my apartment cursing the gods because it now closes at midnight ... every night.  No super sized happy meal for me :(

So here we are in the lobby of the River Rock casino pretending to be patrons while we use their free wifi and wait for the ferry terminal bus.  Sarah sees a bus with a sign that says "South Delta" and mistakes it for "Slow Death".  We both feel we are dying a slow death today, but this will be nothing compared to what we will suffer tomorrow.  And I don't think we did ourselves any favors by partaking in a booze soaked night of debauchery two nights before our race.

Anyways, as we sit here contemplating whether or not to throw ourselves in front of the next bus as opposed to getting on it, Sarah tells me about her friend's experience with online dating.  She came across a guy online who actually stated in his profile that only virgins need apply, among many other specifications.  Well that narrows down the list a lot!  I've never seen his profile, so I can't comment on his reasons, however he obviously has specific qualities he's looking for in a woman and expects that somewhere there is a woman who embodies all of this.  Is this being too picky?  Is this even realistic?

When I think about what I'm looking for in a partner, some things definitely come to mind.  However, it's sometimes easier for me to think of the things I absolutely don't want in a partner.  I definitely want someone who values their job and independence as much as I do, someone who has a great sense of humor, and someone who is warm and open to others.  I definitely don't want someone who is shy or reserved.  I hate anyone that clings to me or acts possessive in any way.  I could go on and on about what I think the ideal characteristics of my ideal mate would be, but is there any point?  When I look back at all the men I've ever been involved with (Don't get carried away ... there aren't that many!), none of them had this exact set of characteristics.  They all had a great sense of humor, but that's about the only thing they had in common.

If my attraction to these men had nothing to do with the qualities I deem to be ideal, then where is it coming from?  What is the basis of this compatibility?  Part of it is personality, but there are many other things that come into play here.  What are his views on life?  Does he want to have a family?  What stage of his life is he in?  Is he financially secure?  These are also all important, as his physicality.  I like really broad shoulders ... just sayin'.

Our attraction to any one individual is based on all these varying factors.  I could meet a funny, charming, warm man with a big, beautiful set of shoulders, but if he is still in school ... how would our lifestyles mesh?  I might find a better fit in a more reserved, quiet man who has a very similar schedule to my own.  He would still need to have broad shoulders though.  I can't budge on that one!

Let's call a spade a spade.  More often than not, we send a message or respond to a message online based on the profile picture.  Is there really any point in us including a long winded, detailed list of specifications that one person could never match?  Just a though!

Until next time and happy fishing ;)